The Science of of pouring and tasting a beer.
We’ve got ourselves a to-do list!
Came across this via “The Style Guy” Mr. Glenn O’Brien.
I think it’s a good starting point for this blog. Our focus will be localized to Chee-kah-geaux, but some of these are just must-know’s.
A man:
- should know the branches of his family tree
- how to recite a good limerick
- program a remote
- fire up a barbecue without starter fluid
- drive in a blizzard
- talk to children
- catch a fish.
- know wine (inc. the good vintage years within his lifetime (or at least 2005, 2000, 1998, 1990)
- how to pour a beer.
- how to tie a tie at least three different ways
- tie his own shoes and insert new laces two different ways.
- be able to make a good dinner without using a grill.
- know the rule differences between amateur and professional sports and such. Like what’s a legal catch in the NCAA vs. in the NFL. Or what’s the difference in goaltending between the NBA and in international play.
- know when he’s being insulted in a major foreign language, including British. (I like this one: O’Brien says, “to be called a wanker is bad, although to be called a cunt can be a compliment”)
- be able to prepare a full turkey dinner without a cookbook. Same for pie crust.
- know how to dance, and not just some improvised disco freestyle but also the foxtrot, the waltz, the salsa, the tango, the mambo, the chacha, the twist, the stomp, the mashed potato, the jerk, the cool jerk, the swim, and the frug. If necessary I can do the hustle or the minuet.
- know the meaning and etymology of his full name.
- be able to use a semicolon and a colon.
- know the real rules of pool, not just the bar room rules.
- be able to take care of houseplants without them dying.
- be able to make a tomato sauce from scratch.
- be able to make basic chiropractic adjustments and crack a back.
- how to win a fight in the first five seconds.
- know how to make a margarita, a daiquiri, a negroni, and a Manhattan.
- know all the Q words in the Scrabble dictionary that don’t require a U, and the correct strategy for winning at Monopoly. He gives you a hint:
- know his astrology chart, his blood type, and the APR of each of his credit cards.
- have at least a basic idea of what the apocryphal books say that doesn’t jibe with the New Testament, the difference between the Sunni and the Shia, and between the Ashkazim, the Sephardim, and the Mizrahim.
- know the difference between effect and affect, farther and further, inquiry and enquiry.
- be able to unhook a bra with one hand and roll a joint blindfolded using a tampax wrapper.
- have some idea of what a freemason is.
- know who the three tenors are, one way or another (Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo, and Jose Carreras, or John Coltrane, Lester Young, and Sonny Rollins).
- how to disentangle himself gracefully from useless discussions of religion and politics.
Sounds like fun, yeah?
